I know that I am not like everyone, mortals ratify this to me everyday. People stare at me, rendering how sorry they are for me and my razed face. I can read the essence in their eyes, which are screaming disgust , an unacceptability for me to be in their vision. Nobody looks pleased to see me. They show me whispering to whom I failed to grab the attention. But I have no moans with them. I would have been doing the same, if I would be them. I avoid being in crowd.
They just remind me of the misfortune who is me.I used to live like a free bird until he burnt down my feathers of confidence. Those parties, family gatherings look like no more for me. Sometimes my friends invites me for partying , clubbing and all that hangout stuff I used to do then, but its like that incident have extracted out that me out of me. I can’t be the same again. Though, My life is not changed that much. My family still loves me a lot. Mom still kisses me on my forehead every morning, she still put that chilli spray in my hand bag whenever I tell her that I would be late from my classes and Dad, he still brings me bunch of chocolates and buy me those tempting Beautiful dresses which look extremely gorgeous on Mannequins. Though, sometimes I think about the people who have changed since then.
I don’t feel complaintive generally, but I just think sometimes that God could have brought me that fiend a little later. May be a week or two. Or he would have acknowledged me about its coming. So that I would tell the person, whom I had loved about my feelings. I don’t know what he had felt for me, but now I am not strong enough to face him, because I am afraid that I would see sympathy in his eyes, eyes in which I have always wished to see love for me. God, if you had given me any sign that this is going to happen to me, I would have consent when dad used to convince me for my marriage. I would’ve not be a burden on you dad. I am sorry dad.
He was daft actually. He thought that chemical would just burn my face, he didn’t know that it would effect intrinsic. He didn’t know that it would demolish the whole me, it would kill the psyche inside my body. Might be I would have tolerated that insolence that day, but as a human being, I was unaware that he would revert me so deep to hurt his ego. He is jailed but still he won , I lost. His cruelty is still mapped on my face.
But as it is said, no one can snatch the art inside you,even his hatered couldn’t. I can still portrait pictures so lifelike. Pictures which are so colourful, so lively as the life inside me is depicted down on the paper. I have many accolades decorating up my shelves but I think art is something which must be passed on, so I teach sketching to kids . I love to spend time with them . They don’t critique me for my face. Its like they think that Drawing teachers look like that. They don’t sympathize me and I feel much comfortable with them. Hachiko, My dog is my lifeline too. I share the laughters and tears with him. I feel that he understands me better than the most of people out there.
I know that fate has chosen different paths for me which have spikes and sufferings on each step and I have made to walk on it, but God, I promise you that I would make out a happy life out of the breaths which are left , for the people who still love me and for making me believe that I didn’t lose to him. I will win one day. Yes…I will do it.
:-Garvit Agrawal
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