Preceding your father's life, you always wanted to join army. You have been a patriot since always. Or that was your father's blood voyaging in your veins. Your father was a brave prestigious man. I had been always proud of him and respected his desperation for army and his dreams to serve the country . Though his passion and job had made us apart many times, many times when I needed him , many times when I felt a void in my life. But his not being with me seemed never wrong to me.I knew this would happen before our marriage but I choosed this life because I had loved him. Inspite, he had one another love too, love for his duty and he had never try to offset with it. Though, he never had been with me much but one day, he left me . Left me to heavens with infant you in my hands. I had no idea how my life would head up without him. He was my only family.A war ate up my whole world all of a sudden. A life which we had dreamed of was buried with him, now it was going to be a different life .I was scared. I was spifflicated. Then I looked at you and I saw a glimpse of him in your eyes which were swelled up with tears. You felt like my everything for whom I had to smile and cheer my breaths up. I nourished you, putting up my best , tried to justify the persona of a father too . The deprivation caused to my soul from loosing your father couldn't be healed completely ever, but you have been a sun in my life.You got me the reasons to be happy and to care about myself. I had moved on from past a little, a little busy in making the today more complete when one day, you were some 8 years old that time, you came to me with your toy gun and said 'Mumma..I will become a soldier'. You kept gibbering that I'll fight for my country and I'll destruct the enemies if they raise their eyes on my people. A fear torn up in my heart in that very second, I couldn't afford another loss, I couldn't die again but I swallowed up my egocentricity and appreciated you with a smile. Sociality inside me was almost dead. My mornings always started with making you your bed coffee and the night ended with kissing your forhead . You were my whole world and I never wished to step outside it. But, it was like you asked me to play a game that day in which, I would loose in either case. With the span of time you grew up into a Smart, intelligent and obedient child . You were a perfect child. But you have your own ways. You joined the army. I never stopped you from doing what you loved and this was the biggest dream of your life although. How could have I asked as you to stay with me , how could I had been so narcissistic .But apprehensions were eating me inside. But what could I have done ! I wished a safe life for you and sent you off with a scared proud mother inside.But I didn't let my fears fade the feeling of proud on you. After you went off,I was all alone again. This time the pain was more atrocious because you habituated me of love again. But I kept telling myself that though you are miles away, you are here, here for me. I was happy for you.
Today, I want to say that just keep living your dreams and serving your country, as your father would have wished if he was here and remember that I will be always there with you in every war you will fight, in every challenge you will face , in each of your lows and highs, I will be always with you son.I will be always proud of you. And keep it in your mind that you just can't die, you can't do this to me. You have to come back always , for someone back here at home, for someone who can't afford to loose you anyway, for someone who's waiting for you....you have to come back.
@Garvit
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