You have to come back # Creation 30

Preceding your father's life, you always wanted to join army. You have been a patriot since always. Or that was your father's blood voyaging in your veins. Your father was a brave prestigious man. I had been always proud of him and respected his desperation for army and his dreams to serve the country . Though his passion and job had made us apart many times, many times when I needed him , many times when I felt a void in my life. But his not being with me seemed never wrong to me.I knew this would happen before our marriage but I choosed this life because I had loved him. Inspite, he had one another love too, love for his duty and he had never try to offset with it. Though, he never had been with me much but one day, he left me . Left me to heavens with infant you in my hands. I had no idea how my life would head up without him. He was my only family.A war ate up my whole world all of a sudden. A life which we had dreamed of was buried with him, now it was going to be a different life .I was scared. I was spifflicated. Then I looked at you and  I saw a glimpse of him in your eyes which were swelled up with tears. You felt like my everything for whom I had to smile and cheer my breaths up. I nourished you, putting up my best , tried to justify the persona of a father too . The deprivation caused to my soul from loosing your father couldn't be healed completely ever, but you have been a sun in my life.You got me the reasons to be happy and to care about myself. I had moved on from past a little, a little busy in making the today more complete when one day, you were some 8 years old that time, you came to me with your toy gun and said 'Mumma..I will become a soldier'. You kept gibbering that I'll fight for my country and I'll destruct the enemies if they raise their eyes on my people. A fear torn up in my heart in that very second, I couldn't afford another loss, I couldn't die again but I swallowed up my egocentricity and appreciated  you with a smile. Sociality inside me was almost dead. My mornings always started with making you your bed coffee and the night ended with kissing your forhead . You were my whole world and I never wished to step outside it. But, it was like you asked me to play a game that day in which, I would loose in either case. With the span of time you grew up into a Smart, intelligent and obedient child . You were a perfect child. But you have your own ways. You joined the army. I never stopped you from doing what you loved and this was the biggest dream of your life although. How could have I asked as  you to stay with me , how could I had been so narcissistic .But apprehensions were eating me inside. But what could I have done !  I wished a safe life for you and sent you off with a scared proud mother inside.But I didn't let my fears fade the feeling of proud on you.  After you went off,I was all alone again. This time the pain was more atrocious because you habituated me of love again. But I kept telling myself that though you are miles away, you are here, here for me. I was happy for you.

Today, I want to say that just keep living your dreams and serving your country, as your father would have wished if he was here and remember that I will be always there with you in every war you will fight, in every challenge you will face , in each of your lows and highs, I will be always with you son.I will be always proud of you. And keep it in your mind that you just can't die, you can't do this to me. You have to come back always , for someone back here at home, for someone who can't afford to loose you anyway, for someone who's waiting for you....you have to come back.
@Garvit

My Superhero Dad # Creation 29

My father has been too strong since my very initial breathing memories , strong Like the tough stem of the tree. Unswayed by the weather changes of the life he stayed strong, never being too good in evincing. I kept presuming that this is the way he is.... Less emotional, Highly matured. But as I Grew up , I got to understand that we , his family were the roots of that tree. As we got scattered away from him, he got weak somewhere inside. The strength is attenuated. 

He used to be different or may be this was him inner to that crust , crust through which I could never see. The person, we totally rely on seems a little dependent on us now. He seems tired now. He needs a support. He seems incomplete. I considered him a super human but no, he was no exception..he too needs to be nourished by love and care as we all do. 

  I marveled to note that the time flies in pattern similar to a hourglass. As the sand tickles down ,a father be the one who decides things we should do and which we shouldn't, He be the one who holds our hand and takes us out on vacations and fulfill our demands and needs. Sitting on his scooter , holding him tight is such a Triumphal ride for us.  He works hard to fulfill our little dreams. He always being so perfect. But then , as it happens in a hourglass...the time repeats itself in the opposite flow.  Clock starts ticking back. He doesn't punctuate us much , he thinks we are mature enough to take care our own's good. Our little achievements are so triumphal for him. And now its been us who work hard to make his dreams come true. Its been us who fulfill his needs, who take him out on vacations, holding his hands. He feels good when we spend time with him, He feels good when we drive him off somewhere . Recalling all that blissful memories, we laugh loud and sometimes we feel that void which can't be replaced. He loves those days, he loves to talk about it. Why wouldn't he..it was beautiful. He misses himself, as do we.

      I still remember, I used to cry so hard when he had to go for business trips just for a day or two , but He couldn't even cry loud when I was the one who had to leave home for studies and he didn't even know when I would return back. But a bruise was there in his eyes that day , bruise of loneliness. But he showed nothing through his words. I couldn't understand that part of him until that day. I had never supposed that I had that much importance in his life and it would be that hard for him to send me off from him. I had never met that emotional him. He was my Superman dad , who can solve every damn problem of the world but he was so helpless that day. My eyes didn't consent the change. But he was so hard on playing the stereotype. He always has been so hard on playing his tough stereotype.

But now,  he is not good in ploughing his emotions and feelings . Though He still doesn't express much but his eyes speak something that hurts me deep inside. There's paleness. There's restlessness. He wants me to be there with him. But yet again he says nothing .I want to hug him tight and tell How much I love him, but I have to go and I don't want to add on the nuisance.I wish , I Could nod to those eyes  , I wish I could stay !

@Garvit